Lifestyle

Handbag ‘Survival Kit’ All Females Need

Hey m’lovelies,

Todays post is aimed primarily at females but that doesn’t mean the guys out there can’t pick what could work for them, because there are items on there that could work for both.

I recommend getting a small make-up bag or something similar to keep it all together and it will also keep it compact so it doesn’t go everywhere in your bag. It doesn’t have to be big, just something that will slip into your handbag easily and take up very little room.

The first item in the kit is, of course, sanitary products because mother nature is so incredibly unpredictable that you never know when she is going to come and ruin your day. It’s always good to have the sanitary product of your choice in your kit as well as panty liners just incase … you don’t want to have nothing in those situations.

Pain killers are also a must have incase mother nature does come along and causes you a lot of pain but it is also good for those headaches that come out of nowhere. There is nothing worse than being in pain but not being able to do anything about it, especially when you’re not in the comfort of your own home to rest and by taking them with you, you get rid of the issue quickly.

Another item I recommend keeping in your kit is anti-perspirant because nobody wants to stink the entire day, do they? We all forget to put it on in the morning sometimes and then end up feeling like shit the entire day but by taking it with you, nobody is going to wearing nose plugs around you.

A sharp nail splint or broken nail couldn’t be more annoying and often painful which is why nail clippers are always good to have on hand. Having them in your bag means you can sort it out quickly and get on with your day as if it never happend.

Women on the pill often forget to take it in the morning (if they decide to take it then) which can royally mess up their cycle or make them unprotected from pregnancies. You get a 3 hour buffer time and by taking it with you, you prevent that from becoming an issue because you can take it on your journey or when your reach your destination.

A mirror is a great additon to your kit because eveybody likes to check that they’re presentable from time to time and top up their lipstick which is why you need one handy. Chuck some bobbles and your favourtie lipstick in with it and you have your personal maintenance sorted to keep you looking your best.

Finally, it’s a weird one … but hear me out, a pair of underwear because as previously said, mother nature is a bitch and you don’t want to be walking around feeling grimm because of it. They’re also handy if you end up sleeping over your partners or friends unexpectedly because then you’ll have a clean pair for the next day rather than a dirty pair.

I hope you guys have enjoyed and taken eveything I suggested on board beacuse it will make your life so much easier.

See you all wednesday.

 

Lifestyle

10 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Short People

Hey m’lovelies,

Todays post is going to be something that I’ve been wanting to do for a while because, you guessed it!, i’m a short ass. I’m only 4ft 9.5 which means that I’ve heard all of the sayings in the book.

Us short people often make fun of our own height and I generally don’t mind people having a laugh either unless I’m called “midget’ because if you call me that, I will not be responsible for my own actions. I have complied a list of the sayings I hear all the time, almost everyday, for you to read and laugh at.

Enjoy.

1 – “Oh my God! finally someone shorter than me” 

This is one I have heard a countless amount of times and it’s funny when it comes from people who are actually short but when they’re 5ft 5, I just want to slap them. Unless you’re under 5ft, It is very easy to find people shorter than you.

2 – “Are you the legal height of a dwarf?”

Nope. I do not care if google told you it’s people 4ft 10 and under because it is not only height that comes into diagnosing dwarfism. In fact, it’s quite disrespectful to say that to me and laugh when there are people out there who do genuinely have it. Dwarfism is nothing to be ashamed of and it certainly isn’t a punchline for a joke.

3 – “Hows the weather down there?”

Darling it is grand! I’m surrounded my tall people and if I strategically place myself behind them (or in front, depending on the direction) I can be protected from the wind and the rain. Enjoy being cold and wet.

4. ” You’re the perfect blowjob height”

No, this one is not made up and I’ve heard it on multiple occasions. If the dick is located on their chest or neck then sure, I’m the perfect height but I generally find that anyone who say’s this has theirs located on their head. I’m 4ft 9.5, not the height of your favourite blow up doll

5. “All good things come in small packages” 

Funny, I don’t recall you saying that while making fun of your ex for having a small … package.  This one is probably the most annoying one because it’s always said in the most patronising tone possible and I don’t even think they realise they’re doing it.

6. “Do you shop in the child section?”

Yes. Yes I do. Only for jeans but I’d much rather pay £11 for a comfortable pair that are elasticated on the waist  than pay £20+ for a pair I have to do a dance to get in because they’re so stiff.

7. “Can you get on all the rides?”

Honey please, those lines are for children who are the height of an 11 year old or under. I’m at-least the height of a small 12 year old.

8. “Child Ticket?”

I am 20 years old! I haven’t needed a child ticket for the last 4 years. But I mean … I will take the cheaper one if you are offering, I am a student after all.  We need the money.

9. “Aww you’re so cute”

Cute! what am I… a pet?. No! I am not cute. Do not condescend me bitch.

10. “You can be my arm rest”

*giggles* Oh my god you’re so funny!. Now get your am off my head before I break it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this post! It is just a light hearted bit of fun for us short people. Please leave me a comment letting me know which ones your receive the most or if i’ve missed any out … maybe I’ll do a part 2?.

See you Friday.