Lifestyle

Let’s chat!

Hey M’lovlies,

So after a very sporadic couple of months I felt like it was time to give you a little update on what’s been going on in my life and why things have been so off with me. I am going to put a little warning here that there will be talk about mental health so if that is something that might upset you then please leave the post now and I will see you in my next one.

Around April time I started to notice myself becoming anxious over stupid little things like walking into my world lit lecture because the amount of people in there terrified me. Especially as they all had a habit of turning straight to the door to see who was walking in. There was a lot of things that my brain was trying to work through and they were things that I had no control over but my brain didn’t want to accept that. They were things that had already happened or things that can’t be changed as much as I want them to. I’m not going into detail about what they are right now because they’re very personal things that I’m not ready to put on the internet but I’m sure I will one day. I spent most of my time in my room panicking about leaving the flat and it became all I did which meant I was falling behind on work and the blog. It all just kind of built up to a massive shit show. My brain was taking to me some dark places but I didn’t want to talk about it anyone because I believed that I was just being stupid and people would laugh at me for it but my stepmum and me had a long conversation which really helped me put things into perspective.

On top of that, at the start of summer I started to find myself becoming ill and permanently exhausted again which I started to realise meant that anemia was probably back and in true ‘my body hates me’ fashion … It is. I couldn’t concentrate on anything and I had absolutely no creative ideas coming in which broke me because I don’t want to be doing the same as everybody else … I missed my ideas. I was napping for hours during the day and waking up so late which is just not me at all. My energy was gone but the iron tablets are finally kicking in and Im starting feel a lot better … Minus the dizziness and nausea (fun times!). I’m napping so much less but my concentration still isn’t fully there but it’s getting there slowly.

I also found that I lost a lot of my motivation because I just wasn’t seeing any interaction with my blog and I don’t mean that in a ‘omg I’m not getting veiws’ way but the aim for my blog is to be an escape for 5 minutes for people who may not be having it the easiest but I didn’t feel like it was doing that. It’s a blog about silly, trivial things like makeup because sometimes you just need to read something like that to take your mind off the big things. I couldn’t see my blog helping anyone but I’ve now realised that it is helping somebody … Me. It’s my break and it’s my escape. Obviously I hope other people are enjoying reading it and I hope people start interacting with me more but I can’t base how my blog runs off that or I may as well shut it down.

I found myself falling out of love with makeup as well which obviously hindered my ability to write as 90% of my content is about makeup. Well, I didn’t fall out of love with it as such but totally lacked any motivation with it and just didn’t feel like I had the energy to put it on. I wasn’t feeling confident with or without it and so I just didn’t see the point in bothering to wear it.

Now, 5 months down the line, I am back in London for university and already feel so much more positive. Im excited to start my new modules and meet new people rather than being scared at the prospect of it. Im still physically not in best place but my mental health is certainly on the up. My relationship is going so perfect and we have now been together almost a year and a half; Jack was absolutely amazing in supporting me through all this even when he wasn’t in the best shape himself. I’ve started to feel so much more confident in myself again and am wearing makeup more frequently while also finding myself so excited to try new products. I’ve completed a lot of the planning the my novel so I am now in the process of starting to properly write it out which I am so excited for as it has taken me years to get to this point.
I started a new job working as a residence ambassador for my university and while the first two weeks were very intense, Im enjoying every single second (plus my bank balance is going to love me at the end of it!). It’s made me ready to meet new people and help then as they start the scary transition of being in their first year of uni.

I hope you guys are not too annoyed at my upload situation but I promise you that I am going to be uploading atleast once a week from now on and they will become more frequent as I adjust to my new mindset and get even more positive about life. I know it doesn’t seem like I’ve said much but I didn’t want to get into things too deep as that is now who I am but I thought I’d give a brief explanation.

Please leave any ideas that you may have for me in either my Instagram DM’s or in the comment section below.

All my love,
Paige X

Lifestyle

Lets Talk About Mental Health.

Hey M’lovelies,

Today I am going to be talking to you about the subject of mental health and this may be triggering for some people so I do recommend not reading this post if you feel it could potentially cause you any upset.

I have decided to talk about this topic because I have seen nothing but people getting attacked for their mental health in the news and on my facebook which I think is just disgusting. You never know what could tip a person over the edge and so to attack them while you know they are low is despicable and I personally couldn’t think of anything crueller.

Mental health is not something that should be taken lightly as 1 in 4 people will statistically suffer from some form of mental illness or mental health issue each year. People need to be made more aware of how they could help those who may need it because I know I’d feel awful if I couldn’t help a loved one who needed me.

In the Uk and Ireland, more than 6,000 people will take their own life each which just goes to show that it can happen to anybody. If more people were made aware of mental illness and there was more access to support then I’m sure that number would decline drastically.

If your friend is struggling and they come to you then the first thing you need to do is let them know that it is going to be okay and that you are proud of them, because it would have taken a world of strength for them to pluck up the courage to talk to you about it. They’ve done the hard part and just need a hand getting through the rest.

Naturally, you are going to ask them why they’re feeling the way they do but if they respond with ‘I don’t know’ then they’re not doing it to be awkward or because they don’t want to tell you … sometimes they really don’t know. Not knowing what is wrong often causes things like depression to get worse because they don’t want to feel the way that they do, but they can’t figure out what is causing it to begin with to help fix it.

Don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting to go out all the time because they are not always going to feel up to it. Sometimes they are going to want to shut themselves away from everyone because they may feel like a burden and like they’ll bring everybody down, but they’re going to need you there when they do feel up to going out.

Encourage them to seek medical help if things don’t improve but don’t push it upon them because that will just make them not want to get help at all. They will get to the point where they are ready to seek the help themselves but they are going to need you to be patient and they’re going to need you to be there for them when do.

You may find out that they are self-harming and if you are both teenagers then the best thing you can do is inform a school or parent before they become a potential danger to themselves. If you are both adults then the only thing you can do is try your best to get them to stop but if it becomes serious then you may need to seek medical intervention for them.

Finally, there are hundreds of diffrent mental illness’ such as Bipolar, OCD etc and it would be a very good idea to research whatever one your friend has because that way you’ll know what expected and will have a better idea on how to support them through it.

To everyone out there suffering, what you are going through is not your fault and you’re going to come out on top even if you don’t feel like it now. You are brave and you should be so proud of yourself for being so strong.

If you are feeling suicidal then please contact The Samaritans on 116 123. It is completely free, open 24hrs and they are there to help.

 

Writing

Planning my novel.

Hey m’lovelies,

So today I wanted to talk to you a little about my novel. I’ve briefly mentioned before that I recently started writing my novel again and I’m not going to tell you too much about it because I do plan on eventually sharing it with you guys but I don’t want to keep it totally private either. I thought rather than going into detail about the plot and characters (bar names), I would go through my planning instead because that would allow you guys to see my writing process.

I started by doing a character profile for all four of my main characters which are Angela, David, Katie and Dale because I wanted to make sure that I knew the characters like the back of my hand. I find that when I know my characters well that it is very easy for me to get into the mindset of that character, which means I can make them very realistic. I write down their age, surname, partner, parents and then write a little paragraph about their backstory which would also include their traits.

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Once I had completed the character profiles I decided to do a plot summary page which contained all the major details and I then did a very brief description of each chapter which meant that I had a guideline for each one. It’s good to make sure that you know where you’re going with your story because it is easy to become stuck in the rut of writers’ block but having a plan means you have a rough idea even when your brain is being a dick.

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I will give you guys a very brief description of the novel but I’m not going into detail. It is about a young boy called David who is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and is horrifically bullied as a result. I have decided to tell the story from his girlfriends’ point of view as I wanted to show it from a different perspective than you would usually expect.

When I had finished the brief description of each chapter I decided to do a full-on chapter plan which meant that I listed everything I wanted to include in that chapter to make sure I didn’t miss out any important details when writing it. After that was completed, I decided to do a mood board of one of the central locations in my novel which is Angela’s bedroom and I did this because I write better descriptions when I have a visual image to work from. It was quick and easy to do but it was also a lot of fun and incredibly helpful.

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I hope you guys have enjoyed this post and I’m sorry I couldn’t give much away but I promise you that I will soon. Are you guys working on any cool projects? let me know in the comments below.